Homework Week 6

In class we have been looking at adding more description to our writing and how to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’.

TASK: Choose one on the sentences below and change it so that it SHOWS instead of TELLS.
I have done one as an example for you below:

Today the weather is bad.

I looked out the window. I could see icicles hanging from the trees. Wherever I look I see snow, it’s like a big white blanket. I can feel some warmth as I sit next to the heater. Today the weather is freezing cold. My fingers are so numb that I think I might turn to ice. There is nothing to do inside. Even the hot chocolate isn’t warming me up much.

~ Grandma was angry.
~ Emma was tired.
~ The dog was happy.
~ The girl wore a pretty dress.

13 thoughts on “Homework Week 6

  1. the girl wore a pretty dress
    The girl wore a beautiful dress

    The dog was happy
    The dog was joyful

    Grandma was angry
    Grandma was exstrimly angry

    Emma was tired
    Emma was exstrimly tired

  2. The Girl wore a Pretty Dress,

    It was like a beautiful flower blooming out of the garden, bright colours just like the sun, It was a graiceful georgous dress.

  3. As I was jogging with my dog, he was excited to see me pull out a bright lime green tennis ball and when I throw it he bolted straight to it.

    My sentence was “The dog was happy.”

  4. As I was lightly jogging down the street with my giant German Sheppard, we paused at the park for a rest and a play. He watched me as I dug through my handbag looking for something. As soon as I pulled out a shiney blue and white frisbee he went CRAZY!! bouncing up and down. I tossed the frisbee and he bolted after it as if he had never seen a frisbee before in his entire life.

    My sentence was “The dog was happy.”

    ~ Grandma was angry.
    Grandma felt extremely angry.

    ~ Emma was tired.
    Emma was tired after a long day.

    ~ The girl wore a pretty dress.
    The young girl wore a beautiful dress.

  5. I am in my bed room watching TV in my bed room and I saw that Emma was tired. A few seconds Emma went to sleep and wile she was a sleep I drew faces on Emma. when Emma got up she was angry when she found out.

    I was doing Emma was tired.

  6. My pet dog Scruffy was running along with me through the park. I saw that he was getting tired so I stopped. He flopped to the ground, panting heavily. So I had a rest as well. I pulled out a bone and he went ballistic. After he had finished chewing at it we ran all the way home.

    my sentence was: the dog was happy.

  7. As I was sitting on a wooden chair. Eating nice cooked cruncy bacon. My dog Paris is just staring at me like a frog would do to a human. With her big cute dazing eyes. So then I look at her beautiful adorable eyes as they hipnosetise me to lift up my hand and give her the bacon.So u finally did. Then as her sharp teeth catched the bacon. Then as her tail was waging. THE DOG WAS HAPPY.

  8. One summers day I was walking along the streets and something caught my eyes, it was a beautiful summers dress it was in they window of our locale dress shop. I stooped to admire it then persuaded home to tell my mother. I described the dress with its beautiful summers colors, and how good it mad me feel. I asked if I could do extra work to by it. Mum said I could clean the bathroom and weed the fount garden, I did both jobs. Coming home the next day I felt excited wondering how pretty I was going to look in my new dress I went to my bedroom to take my close of and on the bed was my dress I quickly had a shower and put the dress on and I felt as fresh and pretty as the summer breeze.

    MY SENTENCE WAS :The girl wore a pretty dress.

  9. Grandma was so angry that here face turned red.
    It was like her head was gone explode.
    she had smoke come out of her ears.
    she sounded like an elephant!

    I was doing grandma was angry.

  10. Gramma was very angry:
    Gramma was very angry because when she was going to sleep she took off her fake teeth and put them in the cup. When she woke up her teeth were gone she got very angry she asked her grand son where they were he had not a clue she was so angry and tiered she went back to sleep and then she released that they were in the cup so she lived happy after.

  11. The dog was happy just like a person finding money. The dogs tail was waging perilously as he seen a bone.

  12. Emma was tired~
    Emma had an excursion to Melbourne and there was a lot of walking to do and her eyes hardly could stay open, she felt like she needed to collapse.

  13. ~ Grandma was angry.
    She was FURIOUS!!! It was like a rhinoceros charging at my brother! He looked like he was just about to wet himself. If he did, I would have cracked up. I did not really like my brother. Anyways, back to my crazy granny. She began to punch holes in the walls and began to curse. My mum was just about to kick her out, but suddenly she began to walk towards me. What would she do to me.

    ~ Emma was tired.
    YAWN!!! It began to get really annoying how my sister, Emma, kept on yawning. It sounded like a lion. She was definitely after her winter sports games yesterday. She was really tired!!! You could tell, all you could hear coming out of her mouth was YAWNS!

    ~ The dog was happy.
    He was barking off crazy. He was jumping all of me and licking me to death. I was covered in dog slobber. I was eating a little bit. I was getting sick of it. I kicked him off me and he barked and showed me his razor sharp fangs. I’m not sure he is happy anymore.

    ~ The girl wore a pretty dress.
    It was AMAZING! It was like she was wearing the word beautiful all over her. She was beautiful. It was not her that made her beautiful, it was the dress. I was wondering in my mind if I should go over there and ask for a dance or go over and give her a ginormous smooch and act cool at school.

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